


Please Don't Take My Sunshine Away

by CastielFollowMe



Series: Single Dad Shiro Verse [95]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Mentions of Death, Military, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Stress, Trauma, War Veteran, War soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 08:47:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9648593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielFollowMe/pseuds/CastielFollowMe
Summary: Shiro supported Keith's decision to enter the army, but that didn't mean that he worried. Every single day. Whether or not he would see Keith's picture on the television, displaying his death.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "Your Single Dad Shiro au is something I just binged on. I spent my whole day in the tag. It's soooooo gooooood. I'm curious about what Shiro would do if he thought Keith had died? Like a prank gone wrong. Would he be hysterical, would he be disbelieving, would he just shut down? I'm hurting my head thinking about it."

Being a man of ex-military status, Shiro knew the call the army had for some people, better than most. He was well aware of the pride and the passion to serve a country and do what you could to help.

Unfortunately, he knew that meant when it called, it called to _anyone_ and there was no stopping it. Even if that meant letting his son go into battle, where he could _die._

Keith had made his decision to join the military just after his eighteenth birthday and after graduating high school. While Shiro and he had never _fought_ about the decision, Shiro was a bit ashamed to admit that he shut down for weeks after Keith’s announcement. He kept quiet about the topic and avoided talking about it with Keith until Keith was almost done with bootcamp and shipped out. Of course he had made it through, even with his diagnosis. Of course.

Keith was brilliant after all and even when he didn’t want to admit it, Shiro knew that his son would make it into the army with no sweat.

But as reality sunk in and Shiro began to realize that Keith was being _shipped_ over seas for who knows how long, Shiro finally broke down. He’d cried and cried for hours, with Keith quietly listening (he was also crying but Keith would never admit to that) and soothing his dad’s worries. Shiro knew the _horrors_ that were sure to follow and he’d expressed his fears to Keith. He was terrified that Keith would come back as he first had.

Broken.

Empty.

Lost.

Shiro never wanted that for his boy. _Ever._ He wanted to see Keith smiling and enjoying life until the ends of his old days. To see Keith happy and in love. That couldn’t be the outcome in war.

But this was what Keith wanted to do, and that night - as Shiro cried, he knew in his heart that this was what Keith wanted to do with his life. This was what made Keith happy. It would be hard, as there were still many things that Keith did not get and he still constantly was uncomfortable, but Keith was willing to endure this discomfort for as long as he could _help_ people.

Shiro was the last to say goodbye to Keith, hugging him with tears in his eyes, with his own uniform on as Keith boarded the plane to leave. Not a dry eye was seen in the airport as an old army father said his goodbyes to his son. Even Keith’s companions turned away for a brief second to wipe their eyes.

Then Keith was gone.

He’d been gone for almost three years now, coming back every time he could to visit his family. He’d already been on two deployments and was working on his third. Shiro missed his little boy, god did he miss him.

Sometimes he wouldn’t see Keith for _months_ and would go without any sort of contact with Keith for _weeks_. Those were the hardest for Shiro. Those days he would bury himself in his Service Dog work, avoiding everyone. He couldn’t help but fear that Keith was dead, so he busied himself to keep from thinking that way.

Thankfully, Keith always managed to call, Skype or come home for a visit when Shiro would get to his worst moments. Then the cycle would begin all over again.

Right now, it had been a little over 2 months since Shiro had last seen Keith’s face and he was already starting to itch with nervousness. He’d already picked up more hours at the dog shelter, with a new influx of patients who needed a canine partner. His friends were beginning to worry, always stopping by for a visit and to make sure that Shiro ate, drank and slept.

“Hello Shiro.” Shiro looked up from where he was petting a bumbling German Shepard, who was to be paired with a thirty-year-old Veteran woman next week, at the voice. His eyes widened momentarily and a soft smile graced his face upon seeing Allura.

She was still the head of her daycare and academy, loving the job more and more each year. She even managed to open up a few more schools since Keith had been there and Shiro  couldn’t be more proud of his old friend.

Behind Allura, Shiro saw Lance, Hunk and Pidge following behind with Coran. Lance and Coran were both infatuated with the dogs rushing up to them while Hunk gave a large St. Bernard a big belly rub.

“Hey Allura!” Shiro couldn’t help but grin as he stood up to hug her. She beamed at him, accepting the hug and laughing when he ruffled her head. “Hey guys, I didn’t expect to see you hear.” Shirt greeted the others, ignoring Pidge’s grumble when he ruffled their hair and gave a big Dad hug to Hunk and Lance. The twenty-one and twenty-two year olds groaned.

No matter how old they all got, they’d always be the little troublemakers Shiro had met seventeen years ago.

“You are such a dad.” Lance groaned, fixing up his hair while Shiro chuckled.

“Hi Shiro. Can you believe all the good doggies you have? Oh look at all the good doggies. I bet they’re perfect.” Hunk greeted with a small twinkle in his eyes as he gazed at all the excited dogs. Lance snickered at his side.

“We came to see if you wanted to grab dinner with us.” Pidge began, easily settling down beside a calmer dog. Shiro smiled at the sight, but he couldn’t stop his heart from twinging when he realized that one person was missing _, as always._

Keith.

The others instantly noticed the sad expression that overcame Shiro’s features in that moment. They each swallowed, already knowing what the older man must be thinking about.

“Ah, I dunno. There’s so much still to be done here.” Shiro said quietly.

“Oh no you don’t.” Allura was quick to grab Shiro’s hand as he rubbed the back of his neck. Her eyes narrowed with sympathy for her friend. “We all knew that you’ve been here since _six_ this morning. As you have been all week. And _I_ know that you probably skipped out on lunch, so there is no way that any of us are leaving you without dinner. You have the staff that _you_ hired to help out and can get this done.”

“Yeah, you need a break.” Lance nodded quickly with a frown. “Seriously, you can’t be working yourself to the ground like this. It’s not healthy.” No one decided to mention that they all knew _why_ Shiro was doing this.

“Guys -” Shiro sighed softly.

“Nope.” Pidge and Hunk both said as Hunk and Coran each grabbed one of Shiro’s shoulders. Shiro was startled when the two shoved him out the door, with Lance behind them. Allura said their goodbyes to everyone else (who was thankful that _someone_ could get their sweet boss to go home).

“You are not getting out of this one. You’re coming to dinner, even if we have to get you _smashed.”_ Pidge threatened darkly.

Shiro frowned. “Do you know how weird that sounds? Getting drunk with the kids you used to baby sit?”

Lance snorted. “Look man, I’ve waited like ten years for this. I wanna see if you’re immortality to drinks still holds true.” Shiro rolled his eyes with a sigh, but he couldn’t help but smile at their attempts to distract them.

He just wished Keith could be with them.

x.V.x

It was the TV that ruined everything for them.

The small group happened to have the perfect view of a TV in the restaurant they were at. Meaning they were front row when the channel turned to breaking news.

 _“Breaking news alert here, involving Air force arms over seas. Earlier today a bombing exploded over a Air force base camp. It is believed that this attack was a deliberate and targeted attack against the base camp.”_ A reporter stated and Shiro was the first to look at the TV. He swallowed thickly, feeling his heart begin to race as it always did when the news talked about anything Air Force or Military related.

_“The attack came at five forty-five this morning, unannounced and the base camp was unprepared. We’ve gotten no word on how many survivors there are or how many are dead yet. However, we were given a list of the names of soldiers stationed at this base camp today. We will bring back more cover as information is given to us. The names of the soldiers stationed at the base camp are…”_

Shiro’s heart was racing and his eyes were watering. The entire restaurant was _silent_ as everyone desperately tried to hear every name on the list. Shiro knew he wasn’t the only family member of a soldier in this restaurant, or the only parent. Allura and the others were all as stricken looking as Shiro as they awaited to hear the name they were praying would not be announced.

_Please don’t take him from me._

_“Liam Sham, Keith Shirogane…”_

Shiro nearly blacked out.

If it weren’t for Allura and the others holding onto him, he surely would have fallen out of his seat. His blood was roaring in his ears, and his eyes were burning. A deep burning in his chest was squeezing the air out of his lungs. Shiro couldn’t even hear the sounds of other cries and desperate sobs throughout the restaurant by other families affected. He couldn’t see the tears on Hunks, Pidge’s, Lance’s or Allura’s faces. He couldn’t hear the soft cries from Coran or the condolences by the waiter.

Shiro felt nothing.

_Not my boy. Please, not my little boy._

“…Shiro? Please Shiro, say something?” Allura’s voice was foggy in Shiro’s mind and he barely heard her. His eyes, so broken and so hurt, turned to look at Allura and he finally noticed the tears racing down Allura’s face.

“Keith…” Shiro whispered, voice cracking already. Allura’s face twisted into an ugly cry.

“Oh Shiro, we don’t know for sure.” Allura said softly. Shiro ignored her, too numb to even move. _No, this can’t be real. My boy isn’t dead. Keith - he can’t be gone. He…can’t be…_

“Keith…”

“We’ll have to wait and see. You know they’ll call you as soon as they can. Keith might not be…” Allura bit her lip, choking back a sob at the look in Shiro’s eyes. She couldn’t even bring herself to say what everyone was thinking. Especially not when Keith - little Keith Shirogane - was involved.

She couldn’t bear to believe that the little boy, who everyone believed was nothing but a problem, that she had watched grow up, could be gone. _Forever._

“Keith…no…he can’t…” Shiro swallowed back the lump in his throat. He still couldn’t bring himself to move out of the chair, despite his mind screaming for him to get up. Screaming to do something.

_But what?_

_Please, don’t take him away. Not my Keith._

“We don’t know for sure.” Pidge said through their cries. Their tears were soft and almost silent, but even they couldn’t stop the river of tears pouring from their eyes. “Keith is probably okay…” Even they didn’t believe their own words.

_Please. Don’t take him away._

_Please._

“I have to go there.” Shiro suddenly stood up, knocking his chair back with a loud bang. Others in the restaurant looked up at the noise and sent pitying looks in Shiro’s way when they realized Shiro must have been a father to a soldier. Lance jumped out of his own chair, eyes wide with shock.

“Shiro, what are you talking about?!” He asked, only to be ignored by Shiro. The older man stormed out of the restaurant, eyes still blank but jaw clenched. He ignored the others scrambling after him, after paying for the meal, calling his name. He shook off the hands that grabbed his shoulder and attempted to stop him. All Shiro could focus on was getting to that base camp.

Getting to Keith.

“I have to go to him.” Shiro didn’t even know what he was saying in that moment. All he knew was that _he_ was the only one who could help Keith. _Please don’t take my baby away._

“Shiro stop this!” Hunk cried when Shiro easily knocked him off him. Shiro, despite his age, was a trained special ops man. He could _easily_ take all of them down, at once, without breaking a sweat.

“Look man, I know this sucks - fuck _none_ of us wanted to hear that. But you can’t just go blazing into the Air Force demanding to get sent to Keith’s base!” Lance tried to argue when Shiro continued to walk towards their cars.

“Shiro, you’re not thinking rationally. You’re thinking way too emotionally right now.” Pidge attempted to stop Shiro. They succeeded and Shiro froze in his steps. However, he only did so in order to turn around, with eyes filled with broken hatred.

“How else am I supposed to think?!” Everyone jumped at the dark tone in Shiro’s voice. They had _never_ heard Shiro sound liked this. Sound so defeated and so _hateful._ Shiro was a man of many things, but losing his temper on his friends was not something anyone was used to. However, Pidge held their ground and glared at Shiro through their tears while Shiro’s jaw clenched. “My son could be _dead._ My only, goddamn son could be dead, and you want me to think _logically?”_ Shiro hissed, chest heaving and eyes burning with unshed tears. Allura and Lance both stepped beside Pidge, ready to intervene if necessary.

“Yes!” Pidge stressed, ignoring the snarl from Shiro. “Do you really think that if Keith…if Keith is _dead_ that he would want you to go to the place that he was bombed?! Do you think Keith would want you to go where you too are going to _die?”_

Shiro breath hitched and he momentarily stumbled.

“I can’t just sit here!” Shiro finally exploded, throwing his hands into the air. he began to pace back and forth, eyes wide and body trembling. The others watched carefully, hearts sinking at the sight. “I can’t - I can’t just sit here, waiting around, _doing nothing_ if Keith is dead. I need to see him. I never - I never got to say goodbye. Goddammit! If anyone deserves to be dead it’s _me!_ Not my boy!” Shiro’s shoulders began to shake with sobs and his voice was cracking on every other word.

He stopped pacing when he felt Hunk come up to place a steady hand on his shoulder. Beside him, Lance stared at Shiro with glassy eyes and Pidge swallowed.

“I never told him that I loved him before saying goodbye.” Shiro whispered, throat _aching_ and chest heaving. Allura’s eyes softened. “I didn’t even say goodbye. He can’t - he can’t be gone.”

“Oh Shiro,” Coran said softly, pulling the other man into a hug. Shiro latched on to Coran, holding him like a desperate and terrified child, rather than become limp. His entire body shook with new sobs and his heart sang softly with agony.

“Keith always knew how much you loved him.” Allura began as she stroked Shiro’s hair. “There was no other boy on this planet loved more than Keith, and he knew how much his father loved him. That’s one of the reasons he joined the Air Force. To be like you.”

“I wish he didn’t. I wish he never set foot on that base.” Shiro cried into Coran’s shirt.

“I know. We all do.” Coran admitted.

“Shiro, we don’t even know for sure if Keith is actually dead.” Allura reminded the distraught father, but at the moment Shiro couldn’t care about technicalities. Until he could see Keith’s face again, Shiro couldn’t believe otherwise. “But if he is, or if he isn’t, Keith wouldn’t want you to get yourself hurt or killed. Please, think about Keith right now. I know it hurts and I know it goes against what you want, but Keith would want you here. With us. Where it’s safe.”

“Don’t go running in and leave us behind. We can’t loose you both.” Pidge added tiredly and Shiro’s cries became louder and louder.

When his knees finally buckled and his grip on Coran tightened, the group felt relieved at the same time that their hearts were breaking. Everyone fell around Coran and Shiro, all clasped in one big hug, filled with their sorrows and pains.

_Please give him back to us._

x.V.x

Shiro actually did cry again when Keith’s tired and haggard face appeared on an unexpected Skype call, only two days later. The longest two days of Shiro’s life.

“You’re so fucking grounded. I don’t even care if you’re twenty-one, I’m grounding you until you 121.” Shiro practically sobbed, knowing he must look like a blubbering mess in front of Keith and his friends. Though to be fair, the others weren’t doing much better than he was, especially Lance and Hunk.

“Okay dad.” Keith didn’t even argue when he saw just how distraught his father was. It killed him to see his father so affected by the news and Keith wished he wasn’t thousands of miles away from home, so that he could reach over and hug his father.

He missed his dad.

His missed his family.

“God, I was so scared.” Shiro whispered, finally able to stop his tears.

“I’m sorry dad. I called you as soon as I was allowed.” Keith admitted quietly. Shiro couldn’t stop staring at the bloody bandage wrapped around Keith’s head. “I guess your tags are lucky after all.”

Shiro frowned. “What?”

Keith’s tired face lit up with a small smile as he opened his vest and reached in his shirt. He ignored the urge to flip Lance off when Lance groaned that now wasn’t the time for a strip tease _(especially with your dad here Keith, ew)_. Carefully, Keith pulled out not one but _two_ sets of dogs tags. One was worn but much newer and the other was well worn, beaten and old.

But Shiro instantly recognized them.

They were his old tags.

“I wear them every day.” Keith admitted, trailing his fingers along his dad’s numbers. “And nothing has happened to me. The day of the bombing, I had dropped them outside the base by accident and went out to look for them with my team, when I could. Apparently while we were out, that’s when the bombing happened, but we were still within a blast radius.” Keith pointed to his head wound, but his hand never let go of Shiro’s dog tags.

Shiro was speechless.

“Keith, I…”

“Thank you. For letting me wear them.” Keith continued softly. “They’re my good luck charm, and they always remind me of you.” Shiro’s smile was wet and shaky but it was a smile nonetheless and it brought a grin to Keith’s own face.

“Besides, it seems like I’ll be coming home next month.”

“For a visit?” Shiro asked hopefully, earning a chuckle from Keith. Keith stared at his father and his family through the screen for a few seconds before smiling.

“Nah, I think this time I’ll be staying there. For good, if you’ll have me?”

The smile from Shiro would put the sun to shame. _Thank you, for bringing him home._


End file.
